The Perfect Fit

There is something called following the hip-hop style and wearing loose fitting clothes, but that definitely is not synonymous with wearing ill fitting clothes. Nothing is more disgusting than seeing a man who has his shirt shoulders half way down his elbows, his trousers long enough to sweep the streets he walks by and with a fork so loose that it could store a doubly extra large package. Being well dressed on the whole also includes wearing clothes that are of the right size, clothes that fit you well, clothes that look like they were stitched for your, though they necessarily need not be made to order.
In India, there is a reason why children are dressed in ill fitting clothes. Blame it on our Indian mothers who were born and brought up to think 10 years ahead of time. Walk into any mall, department store, the movies, restaurants etc and look around you. Children will mostly be dressed in sweaters that are two sizes too big, dresses that ideally should be knee length but are ankle length, shirt sleeves folded up three times, so that the hands don’t get hidden behind cloth and trousers that can last till the boy is twice his size. Courtesy, “Beta, take a size larger, chotta ho jayega” or “ek baar dhone se shrink ho jayega, ek size bara lelo.” So through his childhood, the Indian kid is forever wearing clothes that will be worn irrespective of how much he grows, because his mother has made a wise investment, not wanting her child to run out of clothes ever. I sometimes wonder if they even realise that the multi-print shirt that is in vogue today may not be so fashionable a few years from now, or if it ever struck them that there will always be clothes to buy, irrespective of whether there is a war on in some part of the world or if the American market is going through its biggest recession.
Okay, hypothetically let’s forget and forgive the rotund, curtain cloth wearing mothers who believe in squeezing out every inch of the toothpaste tube and using oil till the last drop is out from the bottle. But what is highly unforgivable is when you see a well turned out bride, looking all bright and well made up on the best day of her life standing next to a man dressed in a sack. God, did he get his suit tailored hoping that he will gain weight? Or was he going to gift this suit to his soon to be pregnant wife as maternity overalls? I recently came across Mr. Baggy Pants, a classic example of the problem of oversized clothes. While shopping with him I learnt that Mr. Baggy Pants insists on wearing denims that are two sizes too large on the waist. Now this can be a serious issue and I am just hoping that no strong gush of wind takes his denims away, considering they don’t hold on to him tight enough. But what makes me wonder is what is so large in there that he needs denims that are two sizes big. Or is it that he is a strong follower of the thought that you should give your gun a large space to relax? Agreed. But that large? Mr. Baggy Pants surprises me further. While buying sweaters, he insists on a size in which his sleeve ends beyond the tips of his fingers. Now, which sane man, even in his insanity would want to do something like that? Agreed that sweaters are meant for layering, but wool is stretchable to a point! You don’t need to leave an extra space underneath, hoping that someday you will fill it up with layers of clothes. Unless you’d want to look like a live hanger.
Mr. Baggy Pants has a reason why he wears loose clothes. He believes that they help him hide his fat. Now, this is a problem that comes with many Indian men—large beer bellies, excess weight accumulated over the years as a result of unhealthy eating and loads of couch surfing. But if you are one of those, just to let you know, the answer lies not in wearing ill fitting clothes and making you look like a fool, but in hitting the gym, trimming down, getting fit and then dressing to the part.